Snowbird

     It’s about 95 degrees, I can tell because my lips feel like they are in a rotisserie, that, and the radio DJ’s keep telling me to drink plenty of water; that’s my mantra today. Just keep chugging away.

      Work was easy today,  I've been a 'natural' stonemason most of my life so laying  fake stone offered me no challenge. I've been able to let my mind wander most days, but today I was just bored.   I look at the time: 9:00 am, lunch time!

     I sat for lunch in the shade and pulled out the meat loaf sandwich my sweet wife lovingly made for me. I had this for dinner the night before. It was perfectly seasoned, moist, crispy on the outside and best of all she wrapped it in bacon. My mouth watered as I took my first bite…perfection.

     As I sat enjoying my super awesome bacon meatloaf sandwich the other mason came around the corner with his lunch

     “You wanna cookie?” he asked as he sat down next to me.

     “No thanks, you want some of this awesome meatloaf sandwich?” I asked him out of courtesy.

     He grimaced and shook his head

     Relieved, I said “Too bad it has BACON in it.”

     He made no reply as he found his burrito and dug in while I said the word bacon playfully out loud as I ate.

     “Damn!” he said whistling   “A lot of honeys live here, Huh?”

     This comment made me stop mid chew and Bacon chanting. I looked over at him in disbelief. We were working on a new section of an upscale residential community. I will admit it was the most active community I have ever seen. Men and woman power walked all over those streets. The women all wore their best workout outfits from jogging sweats to spandex. And normally I would probably understand where he was coming from.

     I'm a devoted husband, but I’m still a dude you know.

     My problem here was this, it’s a senior living community and all the 'honeys' he was eye balling were all old!

     As I thought about it I didn't think I had seen a woman under the age of 60 the entire time we were working on this job.

     “Dude!” I said “You mean the 90 year olds?”

     “Hey man a ladies a lady” He said while watching at a raisin power walk by with viger.

     “How old are you?”

     “40, why?”

     "You're the same age as me, I have never thought of old ladies like that, I can only picture them holding a plate of cookies.”

     “What? Even if there speeding around shaking their business?”

     “Oh my gosh!” I said losing my appetite “Especially when their shaking their business! They just always have a plate of cookies in one hand and knitting in the other and a dust rag in their back pockets and they smell of medicine and succotash!”

     “Suck a what?”

     “Succotash. It’s a soup made of corn!”

     “Man you're weird”

     “Not weirder then digging on snowbird!”

     His phone rang and he took it, ending our conversation. I looked down at my yummy bacon meatloaf sandwich with my appetite gone. I was sad.

     I stuck my tongue out and lightly put it on my sandwich just to see.

     Yup I still wanted it.