I Am Shadows: pt 9

The recording…part.

             My heart is racing.
             I'm sweating and shaking...
             Withdrawing 
             ...the ID's of those men I beat lay on the floor where I left them days ago. The drugs I "found" are spent. I am utterly alone...
              And afraid of my self. 
              Not even Hank plagues my mind.
              I undress...
             Lessons are always in the nude.
             ...and I dig into the old box; I find what im looking for, a tape recording labeled simply #1. I shakenly put it in the player and press play...

Welcome everyone… I am Enoch

His voice is deep, thoughtful, and reverent

I want to thank your sponsors who invited you tonight, with out their energy and encouragement we could not be enjoying the success we are now celebrating.  As you know those who have invested with our firm have been harvesting a wealth of returns that are not seen amongst traditional investments.

Liar

Before I get into the figures of what your future holds, let me paint a picture of what you are investing in. Now… I know your sponsors have prepared you as what it is we are doing to gain the momentum we are reaching, but I also know they have withheld the ‘why” in why we are so eager to grow your money

It’s always about the money

            WHY…is a big word. Why. Say it with me. Why (the crowd are heard repeating it, with gusto) It is not always a question but can also be a statement. Why do we accept other people’s money, grow it and return it in substantial amounts?  A “why” could be to make money” (laughs) but I found that, that reason was shallow; not grand enough. “Whys” need to carry enough energy to pull you through the turbulence of life! Sturdy enough to withstand the changes in direction that are needed to push it through.

My “why” reaches into the stars.

Silence.

Not the dreamscape, where children open there imaginations to unending possibility. No….I want to touch the very celestial giants that we all gaze at wonderingly in the deep of the night.

Unlike that dreamscape, cold hard reality takes cold hard cash!

Silence as the laughter dies down.

My “why” seems childish…I know, however, the reality is that space now belongs to whatever private sector that can claim it. N.A.S.A is out; Google has awarded numerous cash prizes to those companies that can breach the stratosphere and make a safe return. There are firms right now that are charging a billion dollars for rides into the black. So I do not believe my “why” is terribly unrealistic.

You are all wondering by now where you can sign up with this grand adventure, and I will tell you…you can’t! My “why” belongs to me; I am funding the research, I am paying for the developing ideas and prototypes. I have found very clever ways to grow seed money into amazing amounts, have found investments and investors and mathematical systems, and have spent millions on the development of programs that are managing the variables of stocks, futures, and commodity’s from all around the world. This is where you come in, this is how you help me touch the stars. Your seed money is added to the collective increasing the returns for everyone involved, 10% per $100,000.

The room explodes a buzz of whispers.

My friends…I am not here to convince you. You would not have come if you weren't already half convinced if not that at least very curious. I will leave you with your sponsors, please enjoy the refreshments, we have agents in the back of the room for new contributors.

Thank you...

The tape crackles and snaps to the tone of my emptiness. The tears stain the front of my naked chest.

You can never! Ever cry.

The tape was the first meeting my father attended.

I hold the bullet in one hand, clutching it.
The Oracle 

I hold the Gun in the other. I pull the trigger of an empty chamber over and over and over.

“Don't worry, daddy won't let anything bad happen to us”

The words of a liar, told to a scared sister.

I killed her

I can hear her screaming.

I jump up at the sound and see my reflection in a wall mirror. I attack it, hitting it with the gun…it shatters and the lines shoot off like crayon lines all over the room, the whole place was breaking into pieces of glass. I can see my reflections in every piece all over the room. All of the reflections are me at different ages, all are staring at me. Three of them catch my eye; One of me is punching his fists, another one is cleaning a gun and the last one has a sharpened his sword and is running it across his throat.

I become angry

More than anger, Enoch has just taught me something new I have needed a bigger purpose, a why…more than surviving, more than disappearing, more than running….something inside me is screaming to be let out. He has the “why” He knows what to do, what to be. He hid in the shadows of my mind watching and learning his lessens, growing in strength. He has been asleep for a while, like in a cocoon, but he waking up now, showing me the way and the why.

I am…becoming…that shadow.