Gummies!

        I'm a candy man, I could eat it all day for every meal. So you can understand my excitement when my three year old daughter, Kitty, brought me a hand full of gum drops, I was ecstatic.

       "Where did you get these, baby?" I asked not remembering buying any gum drops.

        "From Mommy's room!" she said delighted that I was delighted. I knew my wife hid candy from me. It was our little game, She bought candy for me that she knew would distract me from the fact that she bought herself better candy. she hid it in different places because she knew that I could sense the candy and look around the room for something that I didn't know, like walking into a room and forgetting why you were there; in those times I'm like a pig sniffing for truffles. It was hit or miss that I would find something.
       
       I smiled...now I had my own truffle hunter to do it for me, so I told my baby "Go get Daddy some more!" As she bounded off I smacked my lips, and was rewarded with another handful of gumdrops. And they were so good. they had the consistency of a gummy bear, but a chewiness of a gumdrop. The flavors were sharp and had the right amount of acidity, with something else that I couldn't place that seemed like a high quality gourmet gummy. They were really good, and my little girl was so happy to watch me eat  that she continuously left and returned with another handful of the treats.
     
        So Kitty and I smiled and laughed as we stuffed our faces with as many gummies as she could get her hands on. At last my Wife came in from a walk outside. and I shoved the remaining gummies from my hand into my mouth.

       "Mommy!" Kitty exclaimed, and ran to greet her Mommy with loves.

       "Hi pumpkin!" My wife said happily as she picks up her baby.

       "Mommy I missed you!" Kitty said as she hugged  her mommy tight.
     
        "Oh baby! " she said hugging her back " I missed you too! I wasn't gone long, did you have fun with Daddy?" Kitty bobbed her head and showed the gummies from her hand to  her Mommy before popping them into her mouth.

        "Wait, sweety!"  My wife said as she dug the candy's out of kitty's mouth. She turned to me with a look that could peel paint. I swallowed the last of my mouth full and smiled at her hopping I didn't have gummy stuck in my teeth. I smiled and said

        "Hey babe! Whats shaken bacon?"

        She showed me the slimy gummy from kitty's mouth "Were you giving her these?"

        "Give her what?" I lied

        "This fiber gummy"

        "Fiber gummy? I said contorting my face, "Whats a fiber gummy?"

         "Its a fiber my doctor told me to get to help me, but its really strong. I'm only supposed to take two a day." she looked at Kitty "Oh baby how many did you eat?"

          Kitty held up five fingers "This many." then rubbed her tummy "So good!"

          "Oh baby, I know but now your gonna have diarrhea" She turned to me "How many these did she have?"

          "I don't know, I wasn't paying attention" I said as the information swirled around my head. "Wait? what were they?" I asked

          "Fiber! strong ones!" she said exasperated.

          "But you had gummies too right? and she could have just eaten those, right?"

          "Why?" she said putting Kitty in my lap "Did you eat them too?" she went into the room and pulled out an empty bottle ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" she yelled "IT WAS A FULL BOTTLE??"

          "I DIDN'T KNOW, SHE JUST KEPT BRINGING THEM OUT! I THOUGHT THEY WERE CANDY!!" I yelled back.

          I thought I heard her crying in the room so I got up to apologize, and found that she was laughing, with tears. "You ate the whole jar?" she laughed more as a comment then a question.

        "I'm sorry, I thought they were candy"

          She started laughing even harder as Kitty, who was in my arms, pooped in her diaper... the smell was...well...I knew this night was gonna really suck.